I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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