the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize