yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize