i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
