oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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