goodnight i made you a song goodbye
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
