yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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