Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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