is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
