Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize