you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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