ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
