Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this just has baby written all over it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
