STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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