he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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