Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
