He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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