How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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