I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
