just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
