You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize