dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think i got beer on your cat.
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