okay pat passed out under dana's car
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
