So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My liver just broke up with me...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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