What did we do last night that was yellow?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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