I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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