She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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