I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
