their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need moral support for this bender
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize