So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
why is half of my head shaved?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
