you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
