I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
