mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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