: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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