Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
