Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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