i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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