The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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