omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
