One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
