For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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