OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize