Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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