Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
