I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
