Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i would punch a child for taco bell
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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