Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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