I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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