Im at strip club and am horny
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
