Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
