Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
