You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize