i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
