It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
