party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize