is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
