this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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